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[08 Oct 2005|04:34pm] |
Alright.
New journal.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) augustxevenings
Comment over there if you want to be added/haven't already commented over here/spoken to me/aren't on the "important people" list in the userinfo.
♥
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[08 Oct 2005|01:16pm] |
I'm thinking of getting a new el jay. I'm getting tired of this one. I'll keep it alive but... yeah.
So, like, leave a comment if you'd like to be added to the new one, when I get around to making it. It will be pretty soon.
xo
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[06 Oct 2005|07:44pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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As much as I wishwishwish I'd been born in the 60's/70's...
Every day I find myself loving my generation and the general open-mindedness of my peers more and more.
And the idea of labelling myself under gender-fluidity is growing on me, incredibly. I want to challenge social ideals. I know I do. But still it's... fucking scary, to be honest. In a way, it would be more simple if I was to decide to be ftm or to just stay female and stick with it. I could just do it and get it over with and feel... secure.
Instead, I have to pick the tough road.
I'm so fucking... in love with my friends, though. And incredibly glad and grateful and... adoring. That the people in my social circle are so open and accepting and go out of their way to try to understand what I'm going through. That they're so willing to sit and let me just babble, talk at them, to try to help me figure it out. That they offer me their unquestioning support and try to lighten the situation with their beautiful humour.
God, see, look, I'm crying.
I'm just so... amazed.
Arenny, darling, your humour was muchmuchmuchly appreciated ♥ You made me laugh when I felt like I was falling apart and was ready to crawl away and cry, thank you, love (and p.s! check out Angel's most recent post for the continuation of the St Mungos thing, because we can't really do anything until you update Remy :P).
Lorcan and Myles and Nik and... everyone. Thank you all, so much. You're all such beautiful, fabulous people and I'm so glad to know you all.
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[05 Oct 2005|11:08pm] |
God.
My sister is so totally tone deaf. She's sitting upstairs, on the other side of the house, and I can still hear her dreadful "singing".
She's totally butchering "Sugar, We're Going Down".
...I think I might cry :(
Sorry Pete, Pat, Andy and Joe. I tried to stop her, I really did.
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[05 Oct 2005|09:33pm] |
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"Proud" by T&S |
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Okay, fuck it. Really.
The whole gender issue is screwing with my head so bad. To the extent of having panic attacks again, which I haven't had (at least not really bad) since I moved into my dad's place.
So.
Fuck it.
I'm going to let things happen, and if I decide that I'm FtM, then rad. If not, also rad. I just can't let this fuck me up right now. I'm going to sit with being genderfluid. If I feel like being a boy for a day, then I will be, if I feel like being a girl the next day, I will. Fuck everyone and their social norms.
This song is making me feel good. It's my feel-good song of the moment. Everybody should download it.
Proud by Tegan & Sarah
xo ♥
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[04 Oct 2005|03:10pm] |
So um.
Talking to Ash's buddy Eastyn the other day got me curious. And I couldn't sleep last night so I made a sort-of plan.
Ny currently looks like a very, very femme boy in a skirt.
Ny is going out looking like this.
Ny is very fucking nervous/excited about it.
My chest is going to get sore though, it feels weird, but exciting.
Ooooh.
Ny is currently shaking like a leaf.
xoxox
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[04 Oct 2005|11:30am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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"Shut My Eyes" by Caffeine |
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jdbuihcdsihvcvjb.
dhfbhgvds.
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry, but I just fell off a cliff for this band.
The drums brought in the beginning of the song, adding rad guitar riffs and then vocals before the song really kicks off and... hfdbsdjkhfb.
I'm listening to Shut My Eyes.
*continues to make incoherent noises*
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[04 Oct 2005|10:59am] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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music |
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"Queasy Jesus" by hide |
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Ugh. Bugger you, Ashlyn. That was NOT FUNNY. Everyone knows very well that the first thing I do when I wake up is to check my cellphone and read any messages on it.
That was not funny while I was half-asleep.
Christ.
Give me a fucking heart-attack.
It's alright though, everything is dandy, so the rest of you darlings on my flist can go about your business and ignore this post ;)
xo
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[04 Oct 2005|01:10am] |
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music |
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"Dance, Magic, Dance" - David Bowie |
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Bowie is, by far, the hottest Goblin King, ever.
Labrynth totally 0wns.
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[03 Oct 2005|05:58pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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"Sleazy Jesus" by hide (McVeigh/Ryder) |
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So yesterday was entertaining. If very weird.
Ash stayed on Saturday night. We spent lots of time talking to Matty on the phone/MSN/via email (a couple of times all three at the same time). We didn't get to sleep until 6am-ish, because we were watching some weird catholic-type movie, which I think was called "The Third Miricle".
Sunday, Matt came over (after Ash, my sister Tor, and I made pancakes) and we hung out, chatted to Eastyn online and played with the digicam (Matt is a camwhore).
And yeah, sunday was weird-ish because Matt was my best friend until I was eleven. We went to different intermediate (junior high) schools and lost contact, really. I've missed like six years of his life and it's weird. But awesome to be in touch with him again :D Yay.
Today I was bored. Cecelia showed up and hung out with her for about an hour and a half. In that hour and a half I got a makeout session, a sore lip (I made a smart comment and she bit my lip - hard), and an embarrassed sister (who walked into my room without knocking to find Ceece and I sprawled across my bed in the midst of a heated snog XD).
And now I'm going to go back to chatting on MSN/AIM.
xoxo
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| Stoled :P |
[01 Oct 2005|02:23pm] |
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"Heartbreak for Six Seasons" by Daphne Loves Derby |
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10 Favorites...
Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Food: Ramen.
Favorite Band: Right now, it's Daphne Loves Derby ♥
Favorite Movie: The Velocity of Gary. Intense, real and romantic.
Favorite Sports: Soccer.
Favorite Season: Spring, everything is fresh and gorgeous.
Favorite Day of the Week: Sunday, because I get to do absolutely nothing (and hang out at Starbucks with my gemella).
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Cookies and cream.
Favorite Time of Day: Midnight.
9 Currents...
Current Mood: Content.
Current Taste: Coke.
Current Clothes: Black skirt, pink socks, green t-shirt ("this is my party shirt"), blue button-down (Liam's), black and red tie and blue sweater.
Current Computer Background: Ville Valo in fairylights.
Current Finger/Toenail Color: Au Naturale
Current Time: 2:27pm
Surroundings: Couple of boxes, bed, dresser, desk, stereo, CDs, stuffed animals, posters, closet, etc.
Current Annoyance(s): Nothin'.
Current Thought: Nothin', my mind is fantastically blank. ;)
8 Firsts...
First Best Friend: Yvette and Matty.
First Love: Adam/Kaila.
First Screen Name: hyper_mousi.
First Pet: Kitty called Yoyo.
First Piercing: Ears.
First Crush: Kelsey.
First Music: Abba, my mother listened to them.
First Car: N/A.
7 last...
Last Cigarette: About an hour ago.
Last Drink: See above.
Last Car Ride: Two days ago?
Last Text Message: This morning.
Last Movie Seen: Ummm... Chronicles of Riddick?
Last Phone call: Ash.
Last CD Played: currently: Move Along - All-American Rejects.
6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Dated One of Your Best Friends: Yeah.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yeah.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Twice.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Nope.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Nope.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Once.
5 Things...
You're Wearing: Err. Skirt, tie, t-shirt, wristbands, socks.
You Did Last Night: Slept, read, chatted on AIM, watched Rockstar: INXS, smoked.
You Can't Live Without: Music, cigarettes, coffee, friends, eyeliner.
You Do When You're Bored: Play music, listen to music, write music, read, clean.
4 Places You've Been To Outside the US
Spain.
New York (because I don't live in the US so nyah).
N/A.
N/A.
3 People You Can Tell Anything
Ash.
N/A.
N/A.
2 Choices...
1. Black or White: Black.
2. Hot or Cold: Cold.
1 person you'd Do Anything For: My gemella, maybe.
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[01 Oct 2005|01:35pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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"Drive All Night" by All-American Rejects (♥) |
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Nyar. So.
Gryffindor won the house cup.
We (Slytherin) came third.
THIRD.
Christ.
Yes, I realize I am a gnerd/neek XD
Anyway, I'm currently lazing around my room with Deliya (laptop, duh), listening to All-American Reject's album Move Along, which I'm addicted to (especially this song) and talking to Arenny and Nijo on AIM.
xo
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[01 Oct 2005|08:22am] |
Huh.
I just realized... I haven't eaten since the 28th/29th.
Sort of funny, really.
Anyway, I'm making toast, so noone bother to do the lecture thing =\
xo
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| This thing floating around el Jay. |
[01 Oct 2005|08:07am] |
READ THIS AND ANSWER IT!
These are supposedly 26 questions that no one would ever think to ask. Answer them, then REPOST the bulletin:
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
Hair
2. How much cash do you have on you?
25c.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
Arrest? Nest? Lest? Caressed? XDDD
4. Favorite plant?
Trees.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Sam.
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
Dive To Blue - L'Arc~en~Ciel and Jibun Kakumei - Miyavi.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Black AC/DC bandshirt.
8. Do you "label" yourself, could you?
No, ugh.
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
None.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I loveth her.
12. Ever "spilled the beans"?
Probably.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping (I went to bed early 'cause I had a headache).
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
"Awake?". From Aron. It's tradition.
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
Nah.
16. What's a saying that you say a lot?
"Bollocks".
17. Who told you they loved you last?:
Idk?
18. Last furry thing you touched?
XD My dog.
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?
Tobacco.
2o. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
7.
22. Your worst enemy?:
I don't have any enemies at this point?
23 What is your current desktop picture?
Ville Valo in fairylights. XD
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"M'ning..." (muttered to my sister, Tori, who is always up at like, dawn).
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret, which would it be?
The money.
26. Do you love/ like someone?
Not romantically. At least, not at this point.
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[29 Sep 2005|06:06pm] |
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mood |
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I've just spent ten minutes standing in my doorway and looking.
The sun is setting, and it makes everything look beautiful. I've been admiring the way it lights the blossoming flowers of the cherry tree in my garden, and how it sets the green of the tree beside it off to a summery colour that offsets the pink of the cherry blossoms and makes everything look gorgeous. The way the bees are buzzing about their business, the sparrows and blackbirds are fluttering about the branches and the breeze is ruffling the leaves.
Sometimes you just need to take a moment, you know? Sometimes the beauty makes my heart ache.
I love spring.
xo
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[29 Sep 2005|04:18pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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"Top of the World" by All-American Rejects |
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So I'm finally over my writer's block (credit to All-American Rejects for helping me through it XD). I just spent an hour laying out the concrete outside in the sun with a coffee, six cigarettes and my notebook.
I just got down five pages worth of lyrics and put down some guitar riffs that sound really rad in my head. I'm gonna have to get my dad's girlf to bring over my acoustic so I can try 'em and get hold of Sean to borrow his bass for a bit, because as you all know, I adore bass and I have some wicked ideas in my head right now (and in my notebook).
I am a content little camper.
xo
[edit:]
Oh, and Courtnay is now on my livejournal friends list. Like woah, the world is a strange place now.
And Arenny, darling, marry me? You can be my third little wifey? xoxo
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[29 Sep 2005|01:34pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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music |
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"Dance Inside" by All-American Rejects |
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Wear leather pants and listen to Nirvana and you, too, can become a Saviour of the Wizarding World!
(ignore me, this fanfic is fucking awesome XD)
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[29 Sep 2005|10:28am] |
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music |
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"Drive All Night" by All-American Rejects (addicted XD) |
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Anybody who has AIM, add me, I'm bored as fuck:
heyxtheredelilah
xo
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